It's 10:44 pm and I'm still camped out in the study room. Something about my room just makes studying so difficult sometimes. I guess it's not that late yet, but I feel I've been doing these logic games for way too long already. And of course right now is the best time to start blogging again. I went to DG for the first time again this year, and I realized that I had all these questions. And even though we didn't have answers to all the tough questions, I feel like somehow God answered some of those questions. So far, every year in uni has been so different for me. In first year, I partied often and had a great time. In second year, I kind of isolated myself and focused on my studies. Although I did engage in some extracurricular activities that made for a stellar year in the end, for the majority of the year, I was certain that what I had to do was focus on school and would have no distractions get in the way of that. During those two years, I had moments where the mundane routines got to me. I began to feel a little lost and I had to constantly ask myself what I really wanted in life. I gave myself one too many excuses to put God in the background because I was too absorbed with myself. Thinking back, maybe I had to experience those two years for myself to finally realize my missing puzzle piece. Maybe God knows that I'm a stubborn person, and I won't back down till a point's been proven.He took two of the things that were important to me-having fun and academics-and showed me that none of those things are enough. Only God is enough. I feel like He's saying to me: See? I let you experience those things, but sure enough, you're still left feeling empty. I want more. I want the life that God wants for me. C.S. Lewis once said: "“If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." I don't think our questions of 'why are we here?' and 'what am I living for?' come from nowhere. I think that there is a real God that puts these questions in our head to give us those answers.

We used to have late-night study sessions and freak out together. Now, here we are, reviewing questions for your interview tomorrow. It's incredible to know that we've been friends for over half of our lives. We've grown up, but in a way, I still feel like we're the same two kids that we used to be.
If I was stranded on an island, I would bring you too, because we know that whatever obstacles we're confronted with, we can take it, and we can get through them together.

A man ninety years old was asked to what he attributed his longevity. 'I reckon,' he said, with a twinkle in his eye, 'It's because most nights I went to bed and slept when I should have sat up and worried.
Dorothea Kent

To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.
Herman Hesse

God, I would never be able to do it without you. I got to the point where I couldn't do it by myself anymore and I didn't know what I was doing it for. You reminded me about what's important. You helped me let go of all the things I've been holding on to. So thank you for loving me that much.

If I am lost for a day; try to find me
But if I don't come back, then I won't look behind me

I've always been fascinated by Venetian masks. It's so mysterious that people used to wear those to go out for secret meetings and disguise their true identity. Isn't it true that we all want to be someone different sometimes, or perhaps we're act differently because we're just being the person we're afraid to be. Those are the nights you always remember.
It's weird, but I don't know if I'm really getting old, but I'm slightly bored with partying now. I can't believe I would ever say that. I still like parties, obviously not old enough to not enjoy them, but I just don't like them quite as much as I did before. I mean, I do have fun. We always have a great time, but sometimes I do think it's kind of repetitive and pointless. I don't feel like I gain anything after a crazy night of partying, ok well, except the awesome memories, but that's not entirely true either because everything just ends up being a blur. Not trying to sound like a nerd, but as much as I complain about papers and school work, at least by the end of it, I DO gain something. I'm not even talking about grades right now. I mean at least I learn something. I gain something. That being said, I do believe we need those nights to just let loose and have fun and do things for no reason at all. Just not all the time.
Another thing about parties is that I only like going with a group of friends now. It's not fun with three people. And no, don't expect to actually meet people there. Dance, maybe, but probably not going to meet your bff there. At the end of the day, I prefer meeting people in a normal way, in a normal setting and actually getting to know people. You kinda avoid those awkward situations where after an entire night, you go, "oh hey, what was your name again?" Not exactly an ideal way to start any kind of relationship. And I have to admit, I'd really rather look back and remember an intelligent conversation I had with an interesting person, than some random person I danced with at a frat party. Having gone through first year, what I treasure more than anything now is the relationships I have with people. I've lost and I've gained, but I know who I value in my life now. I've learnt that friendship isn't based on how similar you are with someone. Sometimes, that does matter, but I've realized that even if someone has changed, you can still accept the differences and love them the same.

toughlove

I'm being honest with you because I love you, because I care.
You know I would never want anything but the best for you.

I can't wait till Christmas. It's the time of the year when the best memories are created. I'm not gonna deny that thinking about christmas makes me all warm and fuzzy. It is, no doubt, the best time of year.

thatwasawkward

slightly traumatized from last year.
please don't let it happen again.

"Those mistakes have made you into the person that you are today. Never regret them."

A sip of coffee on a chilly, but gorgeous monday morning. Mmmm. Life is good.

lifemotto

i feel like an old soul.

Maybe we've changed, and maybe we needed time.
Maybe growing up was for the best.
I'm glad we're both alright and that you're happy.
You know that I'll always be here.

Stay like that and don't ever change.

Seems like it's going to get really cold this winter. It's fall right now, but the wind is piercingly cold. Listening to Christmas songs reminds me of this time last year. It feels different. The focus is definitely different. This year has been so different than last year. I think I know what my priorities are now. I know what's important to me, and who is important to me. I might be a little more tense than last year, a little more serious, and a little more affected, but that's only because I am so invested this year.

What would I do without you?
I'd be totally lost.