What were you trying to prove? This is insane.

truly

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.”-Henry David Thoreau

"I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls." -Anais Nin

dontwaittillitstoolate

therule

i hate the rule if that's what you're following.

crossmyheart

They can take the future that we'll never know
They can take the places that we said we will go
All the broken dreams take everything
Just take it away but they can never have yesterday

magic

Do you believe in magic?
In a young girls heart
How the music can free her
whenever it starts

And it's magic
if the music is groovy
It makes you feel happy like an old time movie


If you believe in magic
Come along with me
We'll dance until morning, just you and me
and maybe, if the music is right
I'll meet ya tomorrow
so late at night

L

my parents met 33 years ago today.
happy anniversary to that.
cheers to true love.

Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
William Faulkner

11:11

for all the thursday nights that feel like friday
for all the secrets
and all the talks into the AM
for all our plans
and fake slumber parties
for the nights we can't remember
and the nights we'll never forget

to our fears, special people and everything in between
to summer plans and embarrassing moments
to taking risks and spontaneity

this one's for us. love you.

cinnamonhearts

high school memories.
So, I was clicking through some fb events, and "Valentine's Day and Roses4sale" came up. I remember that. Formal day, $2 roses, v-day kiddie cards, matchmaker forms, and Dating Game (epic).
It's funny how we all crowd around to see who our "soulmate" is after answering a couple of generic questions and filling out a scantron. But we all knew it was just fun and games.

hammers&nails

I'm looking out the window right now and there's construction going on everywhere. It makes me think about the figurative construction that happens in our lives. We are constantly reconstructing our lives, tearing down walls and rebuilding ourselves. Every now and then, we have to renovate ourselves a little and start from scratch.
I hear stories of how God has broken down walls and gotten through to the hardest of hearts. I hear about how He's rebuilt people's lives and it amazes me. I see a change in myself too. I used to be so scared of failing, but if "our God is with us, then what can stand against?"
We're always waiting for some big, miraculous thing to happen, but maybe it's not about the big things. The little things are what makes me have faith that there is something bigger out there.
Let's do more than survive out there, let's live.
I have something to live for. Do you?

Someone once told me that you have to choose
What you win or lose
You can’t have everything

Don’t you take chances
You might feel the pain
Don’t you love in vain
’cause love won’t set you free

I can’t stand by the side
And watch this life pass me by
So unhappy
But safe as could be

So what if it hurts me?
So what it I break down?
So what if this world just throws me off the edge,
My feet run out of ground
I gotta find my place
I wanna hear my sound
Don’t care about all the pain in front of me
I just trying to be happy
I just wanna be happy, yeah

fears

I'm not scared of thunderstorms. In fact, i like the sound of rolling thunder.
I like power outages because we can carry around flashlights and light candles around the house.
I'm not afraid of the dark.
I'm not afraid of being alone.

You know what I'm afraid of?

I'm scared of leading a boring life,
Of mediocrity
Of not feeling anything
Of growing up
And realizing that all this time has passed by
And there's nothing I can do to stop it

these four walls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7Vc4WeZQ38&NR=1&feature=fvwp

"Dare to explore a world that is bigger than you know. There are a lot of reasons to not do something or not feel something. Those boundaries and walls are put up by ourselves. Once we're able to step outside of them, we can truly realize the endless possibilities the world has to offer."

Gracias Señor

I put on the Corazon song and replayed all the memories of those 2 weeks. The 2 weeks that I will never, ever forget. All I needed was to remember how much it meant to me. And it meant a lot.

my favourite animal used to be tigers because my name starts with "Ti" and tiger starts with "ti."
And also because they're brave and fierce.

Wow, God.
You put everything into perspective.
It's not even about me.

growingup

So, you asked me what memories I replay in my head all the time. I guess if you asked me this a couple months ago, I would be able to tell you exactly which memories play ceaselessly in my mind like a film without sound. It's funny how we may get some of the facts wrong, but we never get the emotions wrong. We always remember how we felt at that moment, whether it be sad, excited, touched, or loved. But now, if you ask me that question, I don't think I'd be able to give you an answer because I don't really look back anymore. Our pasts are our foundations, and they make up who we are, but the most important aspect of our pasts are the lessons they teach us. If you miss something that "used to be," then go find whatever you're looking for and make it something that "is." You can't change the past, but you can decide your future. There are definitely a lot of memories I miss, but I know that where I am right now is exactly where I want to be. Eventually, you come to a point where you realize that maybe the memories were the best you ever had, but it's not the particular elements you miss (be it the people, the situation, etc), but the melding of emotions, timing, and magic of the moment. That's what you miss. Even if the same elements were presented to you in the same fashion as you experienced it, you may not feel the same anymore. We're always changing, forever influenced by external factors that mold the way we perceive the world.
The only thing I can be sure of is love is constant. God is constant.
I think true love is a rare find. Not many find it, but you're lucky if you do. Or is it luck? Maybe it's fate, more positively known as destiny. To a certain extent, I believe destiny is just another excuse to be apathetic, because that's just fate, right? But I also think that there are a lot of things beyond our control.
Don't worry though, the Big Guy upstairs has it under control.

“i was too curious about the future to look back.”
- patti smith

PC
Congrats on a perfect skate and gold at nationals!

there is no courage without fear

Dear PC,

It's been a little over 2 years since I've actually written a blog post to you. I'm sure these past few years have blessed you with memorable experiences. Your passion, determination and humble personality is truly admirable. I only wish God's best for you as you continue on your journey.
Good luck in the comp and have fun in van!

Love,

Tiffany

p.s. You must be pretty amazing because my dad likes you almost more than I do.

Right now, I feel amazingly blessed to have incredible friends.
i love you more than you would ever know.

thankful today

thank you
thank you for loving me at all times, even when it seems impossible to do
thank you for encouraging me to be the best that I can be
thank you for trusting me
thank you for teaching me what love means and for showing me that it still exists

love is...

so i had to finish the sentence. "Love is..." so here goes nothing.

Love is all encompassing. Loving someone is more than an obligation, it's a promise that you want to commit to. Love is more than the quickening of the heart or shortness of breath when you see your significant other because love is deeper than infatuation. It's forgiving and accepting. Despite all the suffering in the world, I believe in love because we have to, it makes life worth living.

You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith. ~Mary Manin Morrissey

recap

cup noodles: finished
book: started
essay: started
mood: content/happy

OKAY. TIME FOR BED :)

No more excuses.
No more putting You on the back burner.

settle down, kids

"A;LKSDFJASFLKJAS; HOW COME YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME?"
"I DON'T KNOW."
"YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME."
'I JUST CAN'T."

I still love you, but I have to say "I told you so."

innocence and experience

William Blake.
Pure genius.

Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
~ Hermann Hesse

"So, what's the first thing you notice about a guy?"
"Um.. face! Definitely face."
"I meant a SPECIFIC feature. you can't say the whole face!"

good morning

It told me just to love that life, I gave it to you,
Find what's right, I'll show it to you
Just love life, it's alright

l i v e s t r o n g

Although crazily abusing the privileges of 50 cent chips in our vending machine isn't really considered healthy, I DID go to the gym today. And for the record, I don't regret getting those 4 packs of chips (they were good!). As I happily sported a livestrong tank, I started to think about what it really means to be strong. For me, it encompasses many aspects of life. Being strong, to me, doesn't mean you have to put up a tough front all the time. It doesn't mean you have to be tough, in the generic sense anyway. It's living the present to the fullest. Being strong means you love yourself enough to walk away. It means you are strong enough to make yourself vulnerable, to trust, to love and to allow yourself to let your guard down sometimes. Being a strong person doesn't mean you have to do everything yourself. It's showing your emotions because you're strong enough to not care what others will think. Being strong isn't the same as being stubborn. It's forgiving, accepting, learning.

never too late

You missed my 17th birthday, but it's okay, you can make up for it now ;)

reverie

She escapes the confines of normality and allows her inhibitions to be liberated from its unnatural home. A soulful melody slips from her lips; only the birds recognize this leitmotif signalling her arrival. She is a free spirit. Try to find her and you may fail, but if you do, her presence will forever resonate in your life.

home is where the heart is

I always thought I was kind of a tough girl, but I've realized that I really can't do everything alone. I guess I knew that I could always come back to family. I'd go out and explore by myself, but in the back of my mind, I knew that if I failed, they would always take me back with open arms. That's unconditional love. I realized that I really enjoy family dinners. I watch as a my 7.5 year old cousin watch us with her observant gaze. While I want to take care of every minute detail for her, I also realize she just wants to be part of the group, to be treated like the rest of us because she's not a baby anymore. This helps me understand how hard it must be for parents to learn to let go of their kids. I know she gets frustrated when you try to help her with everything. If only you'd let go a little and let her try it herself, you'd see that she's very capable of doing a lot of things by herself now. Kids need guidance, but they don't need to be spoon-fed everything. Just let them observe. Give them space to explore, discover and learn.
It's hard to imagine the 3 of us are all grown up now. Our lives are more complicated than when we used to play pretend-school and all I was concerned about was getting that stupid lamb stamp. We've come a long way from those kids.
I don't see my little cousin very often, but family is family. You know that, no matter what, you'll always love them.

And so, this weekend I went home on a Friday night, had dinner with family and realized that right now, I have everything I need right here.

If you're reading this, it's time to let your family know you love them.

rwd

if you're one of us, then roll with us

I think this semester's going to be a good one. I can already see myself being more focused, doing the readings, taking vigorous notes and actually paying attention in lecture. It helps that I have a better idea of what I want now. At this moment, I'm just excited about classes this semester, and having a grand time with friends.

no gps. getting lost is half the fun

Sometimes, perhaps, we are allowed to get lost that we may find the right person to ask directions of. ~Robert Brault

I just give the best first impressions. It'd be great if I could embarrass myself a little less. You know, that'd be great.

only tonight

if only tonight
i'll race you to the sun
before the morning comes
if i can't change your mind

missing

'cause there was no later to the "see-you-later"
i almost forgot until you showed me.
thank you

Don't cry 'cause it's over. Smile 'cause it happened.

I FINISHED PRE-READING AND MY ESSAY! just in time too :)

home is wherever i'm with you

Watch. This is so sweet. She'll be one heartbreaker some day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L64c5vT3NBw&feature=player_embedded

I'm on my itouch, headphones in secretly rocking out to music in my own little world. Wednesday...middle of the week...should I??

Seriously. You are being so unreasonable. I'll be there for her, but I feel like this is a stupid reason why we're all losing sleep.

Wow, so thigh high boots were worn back in the 19th century? Very cool.

Other than being an idiot by not bringing paper, not having laptop, forgetting schedule and cell phone, I'd say today went really well. Oddly enough, it feels good to be back.

It feels really weird, yet familiar to be back. Oh how I've missed you guys.

We speed through the traffic around us. The cars, our pasts, these memories all fade to nothing. Smears of crimson diffuse throughout the sky as the sun takes its repose. I close my eyes and revel in this moment because the seconds of the present quickly become the past.
I watch all of us laugh just as we did when we met as kids. For a moment, it's as if nothing has changed.

I wanted a perfect ending, now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious amiguity.

-Gilda Radner

smart AND funny

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity." - Albert Einstein

That's pretty funny, even for a scientist :P

here we go

And just like that, the break is over. Some of my friends are getting on planes and leaving again. We're all going back to our normal lives. Right now, I'm feverishly trying to finish a paper I had all winter break to write, and although it's a new year, I guess some things never change :P
Talking to all of you, it seems like most of our first semesters were pretty exciting. Some dramatic, some surprising, but needless to say, all of us had a blast. I just hope this semester doesn't disappoint.
2011, surprise me 'cause I'm ready.

so raise your glass. good night 2010. good morning 2011

This year (or last year, really) went by so quickly. Looking back, I made so many mistakes. I didn't listen because I always believed in making my own mistakes.
2011. New start. Fasten your seatbelts, the ride is always tumultuous and never boring.

2011 reminder:

Stay true to yourself and be strong in what you believe. Be tough during hard times and soft to those that deserve forgiveness. Love with everything you have. Follow your heart and never lose sight of your dreams.