these are the days

these are the days that I'm going to remember
these are the pictures I'm going to look back on
this is the place where we all met
these are the days that will be missed

crazy dinner

Today, at dinner, I laughed so hard I almost cried. I finally realized why I can be quiet and good, but then be crazy and wild. It's genetic. My parents were telling me what they were like as kids, and they were total opposites of each other. My mom was that good little girl that never talked back and followed all the rules. My dad...on the other hand, was the kind of boy that drilled holes in desks so he could drink pop without being noticed in class. Oh right, he also got "sick" a lot during exams and was a major soccer fanatic.
Haha what a contrast, eh?
My parents are complete opposites, but I like it that way.

Wow, another year already?!

I'm turning 18 in like...12 days. Wow, I know I've said this way too many times, and it's getting somewhat redundant, but time really does fly. One year ago, at this time, I was getting ready to go on outreach. One year ago, I wasn't really thinking about graduating or university. A year ago, a lot of things were different. Summer changed a couple of things for me. Thank you, to those that have been here for me. I know I'm opinionated and sometimes, unfortunately judgmental, but thank you for sticking around. As I am almost ready to close this chapter of my life, I'm also so excited about new beginnings, although life never stops and it's merely a continuation, this change is going to be good. I can't imagine what next year is going to look like, but I imagine it to be just as amazing all these other years.
I think one of the most important things I learned these past two years is to keep going. I don't take failures so seriously anymore, because these little failures don't define me, and I certainly shouldn't let them dictate my life. I learned that life is truly bigger than that. When life is smooth, it's great and I love it, but when it's not, I know that I'm not alone. God, thank you for never leaving me and teaching me that there is more to life than what the world has to offer me. Sometimes, I do complain about school, but I know when I look back on it, man am I going to miss it. I will never forget the memories and friendships that have been blessed to me.
PC, open your heart to God. I know that you're so busy with skating and all these exciting things that your future holds, but He is the only thing that won't change. Going to be continually praying because I know that He can work in miraculous ways, and I believe that He will work wonders in your life if you let Him.
I thought it was so cool that at church, they got us to write "what God has done in our lives" and "what we want Him to do" on a piece of paper and literally, laying it at the cross. I guess that's what it is, coming to the foot of the cross. I know there's so much I have to work on, but I'm glad I have my eyes on the right goal. There really is more to life than this:)



I guess I should get back to work.

perfect-hedley

Making every kind of silence takes a lot to realize
It is worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won’t fall even if you said I was wrong

I’m not perfect but I keep trying
‘Cause that’s what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I’m lonely
So please don’t leave
Was it something I said or was it just my personality

so if you had one chance

"we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you
what would you wish you would've done."

I know what I "want" to do.
So what's holding me back?
I'm just so scared I'll lose what's left of you.

No words

I guess I'll so do some normal blogging while keeping up my "letters to PC."
So everything seems to be going fine. Well, almost everything is fine, except for this one issue. I can't just leave it because I don't want history to repeat itself, and besides, I don't want to go there again. If I could only find the words...
So I hope it somehow fixes itself up soon.
wow ambiguous much? Ya.. that's how I want it to be.

I love The Script
The Hardest Thing

"I know that it seems
Like it's easy for me
I wish you could feel
What's going on inside of me"

May 14th

Dear PC,

I can't believe you're coming back to Vancouver so soon. May 14th. I remember I just checked yesterday, and you weren't on the Stars on Ice list of skaters. I hope I can go to it, despite it's still during my IB exam week! Good thing I only have Paper 1, 2, and 3 for Bio and then I'm done. I can't wait to see you, Tessa and Scott, Joannie, and the rest of the skaters. It's gonna be so amazing.
Thinking about May makes me nervous. It's only 2 months away, and I know how fast time flies. All I've done in these 2 years amounts to just a couple hours of exams. I guess that's what it's like for an Olympian too. You guys train so hard for maybe just 4 minutes on the ice or for other athletes, maybe just that split second will put you own that podium. or not. I can't wait till exams are over. I can't wait to graduate, to move on, to start university and to begin another chapter of my life. It's all coming so fast, yet I look forward to it every day. Sometimes, I think about where I'll be 10 years from now. I wonder about what my life will look like and what amazing people I'll meet. I know that there will be more hardships, but right now, let's just take life step by step.
Sometimes I have arguments with friends and it seems like a couple hours can distance people. And you have no idea how to make things right. I mean, can all those years of friendship really be separated by only a few hours? I really hope not.
Anyway, PC, appreciate your friends and the family you love. Don't let someone go so easily. Live whole-heartedly and with no regrets. No matter how people critisize you, I know that you have something special going for you. Don't let people tear you down. Believe in yourself.