post-it

God, I know u're pulling at my heart and I'm sorry I've been so caught up with everything else. I know that I've been leaving my faith on the back burner. I just chose to ignore those little reminders and I'm sorry. Thank you for bringing me back to my old friends to help me remember again. I knew You were always there.
Help me rediscover you.

walk the line

Am I walking a thin line? Everything used to be so black and white.
I feel like i'm treading water,
Walking a thin line,
Standing in grey area.

happy birthday PA

I just finished watching PA's 25th anniversary online. Although I feel like that chapter of my life has closed and I'm living another leaf of my life right now, a part of me still misses PA. I don't think I miss it in the sense that I want to go back. I mean, there is a time and season for everything, and I'm happy to be where I'm at right now in my life. I think what I miss is the memories that I had there. While I watched the primary kids sing worship songs, I couldn't help but smile and think, "hey, that was me 7 years ago." It all happened so fast: growing up, setting foundations, meeting my best friends. It all happened at PA. I can honestly say that almost everything I know and learnt, I learnt at PA. A part of me sometimes feels guilty for forgetting about PA. I wear my UBC hoodie, surrounded by new experiences and new friends, sometimes, I forget about the past. I forget about the people that helped shape my life, about the friends that helped me get to where I am today. I don't think we should forget about the past because every moment, whether happy or sad, has contributed in building us up to the people we are today. I'm so grateful to have been able to learn in such a great environment. It's hard to believe that I don't go to PA anymore. To the grads this year, treasure every moment you have because it'll be Jun, and before you know it, you'll be saying goodbye to high school.

Dear diary

I'm sitting here in my dorm room. The weather was gorgeous this morning: sun shining, blue skies...It was just one of those feel-good days. Now, I look out and the weather's turned dull, chilly, windy, and rather dreary. I guess I should be used to it because Vancouver weather's always like that. Vancouver weather parallels the unpredictability of life. Sometimes, I feel like the days and weeks of my life are playing right before my eyes, yet I feel like I'm only an observer, an audience member as the rolls of film play on, unceasingly.
I'm still constantly learning about myself. A wise friend recently asked me: "Tiffany. What do you want? First, you have to figure that out." That's a really good question, and it's also hard to answer. Right now, I just want to live my life. I know that's really vague, but in my head and deep down, I know what that means.
What else have I learnt about myself?
I learnt that, more than ever, I really treasure the little things. I realized that the memories I can always go back to and smile about it after the fact may not appear significant. It's the side glances, inside jokes, words unsaid, foolish mistakes, hugs, and sincere smiles. These are the things I will always remember and that I hold closest to my heart. It's the encouragements, the how-are-you-feeling texts, the hallway hangouts, room talks, etc. I love that we can just talk about our futures, our far-fetched dreams and things we want to do before we die. This is what keeps us young, because we CAN dream big, we can choose, and we can live it out.
Yesterday, I sat in Bread garden with my Earl Grey tea and breakfast wrap. At that moment, I just felt really content. I think it's a blessing to be able to feel content and be content. There are always going to be things we want, but at times, we really do have to count our blessings and enjoy life one step at a time.
Thank you to everyone who loves me despite my imperfections. Thanks for looking out for me, reminding me, thinking about me and loving me. I'm sorry I have you guys worried sometimes. But whatever, I know you love my wild side ;)
To my old friends: I love you and miss you guys more than you know.
To my new friends: You have made the past weeks of my life amazing. I can't believe friendships can grow so fast. I love you guys and am already dreading the moment we'll have to say goodbye.

once upon a time...

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Naivety can be a blessing. Remember when we used to believe in fairytales and watch Disney movies like these stories were everyday occurrences? Ya, I miss that.

take note

Slow down, tiff. Someone remind me it's only a been a month into uni.

go with the flow

I wish I knew what I wanted. That would make life so much easier. But no, life just has to be one confusing ride.

the sun is always shining over here

I wake up and feel so lucky. I'm so lucky to be living here, to have genuine, amazing friends that I can be myself with. Friendship is timeless. I just feel like I've known these people for a long time, even to the extent that I've known them my whole life. Thank you, God, for continually blessing me with amazing people. It makes life so exciting.