♥♥♥

bright lights and the big city
belongs to us tonight

nye

i want these fabulous glasses

Aww yeaa new year's eve! This is gonna be good :)

promise

"We made a deal ages ago. Men, babies, doesn't matter; we're soulmates."

For this dance we'll move with each other.
There ain't no other step than one foot,
Right in front of the other.

There's so many wars we fought,
There's so many things we're not,
But with what we have,
I promise you that,
We're marching on

tell her

two oh one oh

Last week of 2010. I'm almost ready to let go of this year and to embrace 2011. Every year, I wish for a mind-blowing, adventurous and exhilarating new year. I've never been disappointed. Today, my best friend asked me to list my top three memories of the year. I'd have to say:

1) grad
2) olympics
3) start of university

1) Grad was definitely the most anticipated event of the year. I had the best night of my life.

2) Olympics came and I had never felt more proud to be Canadian.

3) University. Moving out, meeting new people and starting my new life has been so exciting. I can't be happier.

And in between those events, there are, of course, those late night room parties, movie marathons and karaoke nights.
But my favourite memories probably wouldn't cross your mind as significant ones. You know, the moments when you call just to say you miss me, when you hug me and tell me it's okay, when you pick up my 2 am calls and just listen, and when we lie on the bed talking all night, making mutated puppet shadows on the ceiling. Those moments are special and they made 2010 worth remembering.
My tips for 2011? Follow your heart, but don't forget your head. Sometimes, being a little level-headed doesn't hurt.
I know I always say that some things only happen in movies and never in real life. Deep down, I still believe and always will. I've always believed that you might lose if you take the risk, but you'll lose far more if you don't. Believe, but don't be fooled. Believe, but be reasonable. Believe, but never compromise.

Now go out there and rock this world.
And if you ever need a sidekick, I'll be right there, rocking the world with you.

Okay, I lied. I'm going boxing day shopping. I couldn't resist when my best friend/best shopping buddy asked me!

merry christmas

Tonight, I found out that my great grandmother was from Australia and that she barely knew how to speak Chinese. So, I may have some mixed blood in me after all ;) My 7 1/2 year old cousin seems all grown-up now. It's hard to believe 7 years has passed since she was born. Kids sure grow up fast these days. Apparently, she's already watching make-up tutorials on youtube and "practices" in front of the mirror already. When my little cousin is 16, I'll be 27 and my other cousins will be 33. That's.. kind of scary.

So happy I can just relax or the next two days. There is no way I'm going near a mall on boxing day. No, not this year.
Next thing to look forward to? Obviously seeing the rest of my friends and NYE!

Can you just believe me this once?
Look at what is so blatantly obvious.

count to ten, take it in

2 days till christmas! It's been really great catching up with old friends. We're all going along our separate paths, dealing with our own issues and just trying to live life moment by moment. High school was, more or less, about figuring out who you are. In uni, we try to figure out who we'll be. We laugh at the possibilities of our peers getting engaged in a couple of years, going to grad school and getting jobs. It's hard to believe we graduated not too long ago, that some of our closest friends don't live 5 mins away anymore, that 3 months has given us a better idea of what we want in life.
I'm kind of excited for second semester. New year, new term, new start. I can't guarantee I won't make mistakes. Actually, I can guarantee you I will, but I never said I was striving for perfection anyway.
I have to say, this was a good year. Twenty ten. A year of endings and beginnings, of learning hard lessons and experiencing new things. Following the trend, it'll only get better from here. Pinky promise.
So why don't you come along for the ride, I'd appreciate the company.
<3

"nothing as real as our old reckless ways"

Driving down those dark one-way streets, we turn on to unfamiliar roads. Turning the music up, we let the bass pulse through every inch of us. The nostalgia takes over as we sing along to our favourite songs. We go in all the wrong directions and let our spontaneous instincts kick in because we're fearless tonight. I smile because we haven't changed at all. We're different kinds of crazy and the same kind of stubborn, but somehow, we balance each other out in perfect style. We dance like no one's watching, sing ever so shamelessly, and laugh like there's no tomorrow.
To unforgettable nights and to my dearest friends, I love you.

"life is the messy bits"
-Claire, Letters to Juliet

You were right. It wasn't until I started playing again that I realize how much I really missed it. I didn't realize that in losing that part of myself, I lost a part of who I used to be.

We do a lot of stupid things together
But I can't imagine life without it.

"and we were dressed from head to toe in love...the only label that never goes out of style"-Carrie Bradshaw

it's almost christmas.
i'm not going anywhere.
and this is exactly where i wanna be.
come home.
i miss you.

to do list before exam:

study
review
sleep
eat
repeat

to do list after exam:

whatEVER i want :)

oh hi there.

it's national hug a stressed student day.
how convenient. i'm a student and i'm just a little bit stressed.
hug me? :)

18 hrs

draw some lines and scribble some numbers. no big, right?

mom: wow, you look so relaxed. Good to go for econ?
me: No. I've just given up.
mom:...*apprehensive look*

That's not my rabbit, but soo cute!

On the one hand, I'm glad I'm not gonna be the one getting drunk.
On the other hand, it's sad I've accepted failure.

Remain calm at all times.

I need some new tactics. Opened the window and something flew in, resulting in closing of the window. Stayed away from bed, but chair is comfortable enough. Heat turned down=freezing.
Okay, a quarter done reviewing.. I can do this.
By the way, I'm not slacking off, I'm just taking a break to wake myself up (aka turn the music up). According to google, these breaks are much needed :P

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life, is when men are afraid of the Light.
-Plato

Good morning, world. Some tips for studying that I should definitely follow:

1) Turn down the heater
2) Change out of pjs or sweats
3) Get up and get ready like you would on a regular day
4) Stay away from the bed (No, reading your textbook on your bed does not work)
5) Open windows

Ok time for me to hit the books!

stay alive,

tiff

<3

so i will help you read those books
if you will soothe my worried looks
and we will put the lonesome on the shelf

You know Hollywood is dead,
you can find it in yourself.

All our lives, we want to land the dream job, make the big bucks, and live a glamorous life. We live in a world where the definition of happiness is so heavily embedded within the material realms of society. We're indoctrinated with the idea that money buys happiness. Heart-throb sensations like Justin Bieber sing, "I'll buy you anything. I'll buy you any ring," deceiving us with the idea that the perfect guy is measured by his abilities to provide the girl with her material desires. When is it going to be enough?
I don't think there is anything wrong with liking material things. I mean, let's face it, we all do. But money doesn't define who you are. At the end of the day, we'll look back and realize that, most of the time, the priceless memories are the ones we want to relive.

Every bus, every train,
Ever cab, every lane is JAMMED
So I looked to the sky
And I reached for the planes with my hands

If all my days go wrong
I'll think about last night
It went right

because everyone needs an outlet

i always look forward to postsecret sundays

fool on parade

Let the beat of your heart guide you
Don't be a clown cause they're laughing at you
Don't follow them down
When you know they're wrong, be strong
Pull the blinds down away from your eyes now
Walk in your own direction, and don't turn around

here we go. come with me.

Am I stressed about finals?
Heck yes I am.
Did I have a good friday night?
Heck yes I did.

Time to realllyyy study. Bring it on.

hearts all over the world

When I needed someone, someone was there for me. All I know is I can be that person for someone else. Sometimes it doesn't come naturally. It takes effort to look past judgement. It's difficult and sometimes, it sucks. But maybe if we start to step outside our self-centered worlds, we'll realize a little love goes a long way.

my grown-up christmas list

Do you remember me
I sat upon your knee
I wrote to you
With childhood fantasies

Well, I'm all grown up now
And still need help somehow
I'm not a child
But my heart still can dream

So here's my lifelong wish
My grown up christmas list
Not for myself
But for a world in need

No more lives torn apart
That wars would never start
and wars would never start
And time would heal all hearts
And everyone would have a friend
And right would always win
And love would never end
This is my grown up christmas list

As children we believed
The grandest sight to see
Was something lovely
Wrapped beneath our tree

Well heaven only knows
That packages and bows
Can never heal
A hurting human soul

so at the end of the day

10 mins till we hit the gym. I guess I'll blog?
Oneeee more day of classes. Whoa, what a semester. What a month.
I always ask myself one thing:
no regrets?
no regrets :)

there must be something more.
do we know what we're fighting for?

excusez-moi

Do me a favour and stop talking.

Sincerely,

Tiff

well it's cold outside and the lights are low

Don't be surprised if i'm walking and you suddenly hear me sing.. "I wanna be the 12 days wrapped in 1
I wanna be your drummer boy, burrum bum bum bum
I wanna be the eggnog in your rum." Yes, I do find it odd to be singing that I wanna be someone's drummer boy but drummer girl just doesn't work. trust me, i tried it. But no, it just isn't the same.
I recently started listening to my ipod again. I'm serious, I think it makes me at least 50% happier listening to happy christmas music.
Now, here's some encouragement for the day.
I know sometimes I feel like giving up too, but the successful ones are the one that confronted adversity and never gave up. Here are some examples:

Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4-years-old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was "sub-normal," and one of his teachers described him as "mentally slow, unsociable, and adrift forever in foolish dreams." He was expelled from school and was refused admittance to the Zurich Polytechnic School. He did eventually learn to speak and read. Even to do a little math.

Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." He went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim on the grounds that it would only attract riffraff.

Beethoven handled the violin awkwardly and preferred playing his own compositions instead of improving his technique. His teacher called him "hopeless as a composer." And, of course, you know that he wrote five of his greatest symphonies while completely deaf.

Thomas Edison's teachers said he was "too stupid to learn anything." He was fired from his first two jobs for being "non-productive." As an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1,000 times?" Edison replied, "I didn’t fail 1,000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps."

A million people can tell you that you're not good enough. Only one person's opinion matters-your own.

love story

33 years ago was the first time they met.
It was the most innocent of romances.
She was young and beautiful.
He was fun and intriguing.
They led separate lives until the day
They became a part of each other's worlds.
The rest, they say, is history.
A real-life portrayal of Grease is how I would put it.
33 years later, they still joke about first impressions.
33 years later, they still love each other.
33 years later, I'm 18, and I believe in love because of them.

time for a recap

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin

venti

10pm

"I really want starbucks right now."
"Now?!"
"Ya, right now."
"Okay, let's go."
"What? really?"
"Ya"
"Okay!"

So, being superrr smart, I completely forgot to get decaf anddd got a venti gingerbread latte. Oops. And we also got pizza...feeling superr healthy right now :P I kinda love these spontaneous outings, oh and skyping for a record 8.5 hrs. Okay, okay, i took a nap while skyping and left it on while i was out, but it still counts! But tomorrow I'm definitely going to be healthy. Getting up early to hit the gym with my bestiee:) I don't know if I'm just excited to go gyming or if the caffeine's just getting to me right now. I somehow don't think the giddiness is normal at this hour.
I like it when we talk about our pasts, and futures, fears, failures, and grand plans for the future. The 10 minute breaks always turn into hr long conversations. We fall asleep skyping and never get tired of talking about the same things over and over again.

hey there

The snow just makes me sing, sing, sing.
I can't stop singing.


the show-lenka

"i'm just a little bit caught in the middle. Life is a maze and love is a riddle."

marry you-bruno mars

"It's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do. "

once-glen hansard and marketa irglova

"here the sirens call me home"

falling slowly - glen hansard (LOVE)

"Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can't go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I'm painted black"

ultraviolet-the stiff dylans
she's so lovely-scouting for girls

mmmm replay.

Knew you'd come back and show 'em.
Don't lose faith.
You got this.

postsecret sunday

Now wouldn't this be something. I always wanted to do that: make a time capsule and bury it, put a note in a helium balloon and just let it fly away...
Actually, I write on rocks on the beach and hope people will find my messages.

there's a world out there that we should see

"What are you thinking about?"
"Oh. Nothing."
"You're reminiscing, aren't you?"
"Actually, yeah."

Decisions. Uncertainty. It's like a game of chess, except I play with no strategy. I might lose, but hey, win or lose, it's only a matter of perspective.

11:11

I'm sorry I ever thought this was real.

Get it together. Please, be strong.
This kills.

"...as I gazed on the cloudless blue sky, I seemed to drink in a tranquility to which I had long been a stranger." - Frankenstein

fearless is living in spite of all those things that scare you to death

Another thing that UBC has that PA never had: a beautiful mountain and ocean view. On a nice day like this, it is absolutely breathtaking. I officially found my favourite place in UBC. On the ledge overlooking the rose garden, the mountains and the ocean. It's just me. I just need alone time right now.
The sea looks so calm from here, but I know that if I was really sailing those seas, it'd be a rocky and tumultuous ride. That's the kind of facade the sea puts on. Nothing is what it seems. Nothing seems like it's that difficult until it hits you like breakers on the jagged edges of cliffs. The funny thing is, you'll never get to the other side unless u steer through those storms. Steer through it, not around.
An old lady just came. She's been here for a while now, just staring out into the ocean. Oh, and she's humming. Several people have come and gone. Sometimes I wonder what each person is going through right now. What makes them happy, sad, loved? Even though we're all going through different things, we can all come here and enjoy the view. No man owns nature. That's the beauty of it. We all have our struggles, but nothing's too big to handle. I know this because nothing is too big for the Creator who intricately made the vast oceans, grand skies and towering mountains.
It's getting cold. Gotta head to class.

Love,
Tiff

should've found this earlier

Well, why didn't you tell me earlier?

life lesson

don't feed me violins
just run with me through rows of speeding cars

'cause none of us were angels

There there baby
it's just textbook stuff
it's in the ABCs of growing up
Now, now darling
oh don't lose your head
'cause none of us were angels

dare to be different

when they tell you you're different, just smile and say, "yeah. i'm one of the lucky ones."

funny things

the more i think about it, the funnier it is.
i swear i look like a retard when i smile randomly in public.
oh the ironies of life.
why are things so complicated sometimes when they can be so simple?
Oh right, because that's life and life's hard.
Bittersweet, i'd say. Just like the taste of black coffee on your lips on a cold monday morning.

red cups

mmm pumpkin spice latte and ginger molasses cookie. although the wind is blowing furiously, the sun is shining. it feels like a good day today.

and, when you're not strong

Don't fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things.
The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
- Louis E. Boone

There is no greater sorrow than to recall in misery the time when we were happy.
- Dante

pick-me-up

However long the night, the dawn will break.

nts

when did i lose the ability to chill out?
even so, there's no white flag here.

raise your glass

"5 am turn the radio up, where's the rock and roll?"

"so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways"

not gonna lie, kinda wanna hug a white baby seal right now.

and then we'll say...

one day, i know i'll never grow tired of telling these stories to my kids. and i know they'll just roll their eyes at me and tell me times have changed, but right now, the time is now and i'm living this moment.

how's your day, i'll say crazyy

No one said it'd be easy. They just said it'd be worth it.

Hold on, make it last. Hold on, never turn back.

breaking the rules

Who says we can only make resolutions during new year's? I say you can change the way you're living anytime of the year. If you're not satisfied with the way you're living your life, stop complaining and simply change it.

A couple of things I'm going to try to do:

-be healthier (e.g. exercise, eat at least a whole fruit a day, etc)
-focus focus focusss on academics
-sleep earlier
-read my Bible every night
-pray for passion in atlanta yeaa :) (still have the bracelet on!)

What do YOU guys want to change? Whatever it is, make it happen.

"Be the change you want to see in the world"-Ghandi

all my love,
tiff

just listen

Sometimes, I just close my eyes and hum to calm, piano music. It helps when your mind is streaming with thoughts, never-ending to-do lists, issues...
Close your eyes and take the wheel.

no regrets. just love

because none of it was ever worth the risk.. right?

sundayy morninggg. OK, not quite morning anymore, considering it's 12:30, but it still feels rather early to me. It's sunny right now, kinda just want to go for a drive and clear my head. It's kinda a chilly morning, one of those brrr-it's-almost-winter kind of days. These are the perfect days to be wrapped up in a blanket or big wool sweater with a black coffee.
You know what I love? I love being spontaneous. I like getting lost and having to find my way. I like not knowing where the next moment is going to take me. I like ditching the map and just going exploring.
Because those are the adventures that you can't predict. When you don't know what to expect at all, you'll definitely be surprised.
Today, when I finished going over my student's festival songs, Joanna just started playing Hallelujah. I taught her that song a couple weeks ago, and now she already knows it by heart. I just let her play as I sat listening. Then, I just ended up singing along. It was actually a lot of fun. We started talking about all the songs we liked, and it didn't take too long for me to realize that she loved all the songs I loved too. I whipped out my laptop and we started going through my iTunes. We got so excited, breaking out in song. Like A G6, Just The Way You Are, Just A Dream, 2012...I knew then that I couldn't give it up. I just couldn't. Deep down, I knew I never wanted to.
I am so happy that music is a big part of her life now, that she can play for her own enjoyment and share this with other people. Music is so powerful and that's what life is about, finding a passion that transcends the mundane routines of life. I have no idea what it's like to be a parent, but I know that watching someone grow up and change is so amazing. I don't want to change the world, nor can I, I just want to make someone's day, make someone smile and show them that even though life has its ups and downs, there is so much to be happy about.

Be the person you aspire to be.
No regrets.
Just love.

so apparently there's scientific evidence for it

"Hugging has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin, and reduce blood pressure."

i so knew it all along :)

and i don't care that "one study has shown" doesn't sound very reliable and prob doesn't fulfill the replicability thing andd i'm probably guilty of confirmation bias but who cares. i love hugs.

and if our God is with us, then what could stand against

Passion was absolutely amazing yesterday. It was exactly what I needed to remind myself what I was missing in my life. I needed that foundation that's going to anchor me despite the strongest winds. I know that even though times may be tough and I may be shaken, God will always be there, and He will never be shaken. It was incredible to see so many people in Rogers arena just praising God.

Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God you are higher than any other

And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against

no one like you

You are more beautiful
Than anyone ever
Everyday You're the same
You never change, no never

And how could I ever deny
The love of my Savior
You are to me everything
All I need forever

How could You be so good?

There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You

Everywhere You are there
Earth or air surrounding
I'm not alone, the heavens sing along
My God, You're so astounding
How could You be so good to me
Eternally I believe that

There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You
There is no one like You
There has never ever been anyone like You

You, You, You, You, You, You

How could You be so good to me?
How could You be so good to me?
We're not alone, so sing along
We're not alone, so sing along, sing along, sing along

one fine night

if i had the answers then i know where i'd be.
nothing is certain. all we have is this moment, so let's link arms and make the best of it.
i want this kind of forever

when they tell you i love you, believe them. when you say i love you back, mean it

I think it's the caffeine, but I'm suddenly really excited about everything. Got a little excited about the underlying meanings in Shakespeare, VFW, and Christmas. I realllyyyy want a Christmasy drink from Starbucks right now. Can't believe christmas is almost here! It's seriously my most favourite time of year. I never like to go on vacation during Christmas because, to me, spending Christmas not at home just doesn't feel right. I guess i'm weirdly traditional like that. Actually, you'd be surprised I'm actually a really traditional person.
Looking at pictures of Christmas last year just makes me that much more excited for it to come. My dad's always like.. "do we REALLY need to put up the tree this year?" Me: "OF COURSE, DAD! WE CAN'T HAVE CHRISTMAS WITHOUT A CHRISTMAS TREE!" I know that Christmas is Christmas even without the tree, but I mean, how can we not take the opportunity to put up an artificial evergreen and strangle it with lights? I like coming home to that, listening to the robotic, repetitive Christmas songs play from the lights. It's kind of soothing, to say the least. You know, when I was younger, I just wanted to unwrap the presents. I guess all kids were like that. I used to be the youngest, so I obviously had the most presents. Now, I watch my little 5 year old cousin act the same way. It's interesting to see all of us go through these phases. Christmas means so much more than that now. I still like the candy canes, the stockings, cool wrapping paper, but more than that, spending Christmas with the people that mean the most to me is what makes it so special. Every other time of the year, we all seem to be doing our own thing. Sometimes, we're too caught up running the race that we forget that getting to the finish line isn't what's most important. If we didn't have passions, hobbies, family, friends, love, God, life would be so meaningless. I go through each day thinking to myself, there must be more to life than this. There must be.
I guess what we have to do is be thankful for every friend, every moment that has made us smile, every stupid joke that has made us laugh, every sign that we've been given.

When friends tell you they love you, believe them, and when you say I love you back, mean it. xoxo

If

I know I'm supposed to be writing my paper, but I'm almost done anywayyy so I guess I deserve a mini break, though I do have to stop giving myself these breaks that last longer than the working times :S
But for now, time to let some fresh air in and blast some music :)

Fate. I believe everything happens for a reason. Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if some events hadn't happened, or if I hadn't met certain people.
I guess today was a pretty good day. I was walking to psyc this morning, and this random old prof-like man came up to me and asked me what class I had. I had to think about it for a second, then I told him I had psyc. Then, he just said good luck, smiled and walked away. My initial reaction was pretty much: huh? random much? But then it really did start my day right. I know it SOUNDS creepy, and I guess it was borderline creepy, but he sounded really genuine. I appreciate when people go out of the way to make people's days. I know I always say this, but somehow, the little things really do make me happy. Sometimes, it's just a hug. It can be an i-miss-you, and sometimes, it may be so small that others may not notice it. But I notice.
I feel incredibly blessed to have had my days "made" this year. It's a little unfair. Why do I seriously have the most amazing people in my life?

i would walk a thousand miles and one more

"I'm always going to wanna go the extra mile for them because I know they've gone the extra thousand miles for me." -Taylor Swift

fragile

I'm really not that tough. I really want to be.

911

i could really use a hug right now.

p.s.

Don't you know, you're really gonna be someone
Ask anyone.

i believe in forever

It feels so good to be connected with you guys again. I feel like we're leading different lives, but that's the exciting part about it, that we can share those different experiences with each other. I love that you guys can come to me with your problems, even if I should really finish reading Shakespeare. It's great to know that our friendships have lasted beyond the boundaries of high school. I miss those hugs every day in the morning, the study blocks, cramming sessions, timmy's donut breaks... I miss everything. When you cry, I just want to hug you and tell you that things are going to be okay, and I truly mean it. The only thing I can do is listen and do the best I can to give you good advice. I'm experiencing these things too. We're never too old to grow up because we're constantly learning. "Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." Things are going to be okay, trust me on this one, okay?
Just remember, hakuna matata.

post-it

God, I know u're pulling at my heart and I'm sorry I've been so caught up with everything else. I know that I've been leaving my faith on the back burner. I just chose to ignore those little reminders and I'm sorry. Thank you for bringing me back to my old friends to help me remember again. I knew You were always there.
Help me rediscover you.

walk the line

Am I walking a thin line? Everything used to be so black and white.
I feel like i'm treading water,
Walking a thin line,
Standing in grey area.

happy birthday PA

I just finished watching PA's 25th anniversary online. Although I feel like that chapter of my life has closed and I'm living another leaf of my life right now, a part of me still misses PA. I don't think I miss it in the sense that I want to go back. I mean, there is a time and season for everything, and I'm happy to be where I'm at right now in my life. I think what I miss is the memories that I had there. While I watched the primary kids sing worship songs, I couldn't help but smile and think, "hey, that was me 7 years ago." It all happened so fast: growing up, setting foundations, meeting my best friends. It all happened at PA. I can honestly say that almost everything I know and learnt, I learnt at PA. A part of me sometimes feels guilty for forgetting about PA. I wear my UBC hoodie, surrounded by new experiences and new friends, sometimes, I forget about the past. I forget about the people that helped shape my life, about the friends that helped me get to where I am today. I don't think we should forget about the past because every moment, whether happy or sad, has contributed in building us up to the people we are today. I'm so grateful to have been able to learn in such a great environment. It's hard to believe that I don't go to PA anymore. To the grads this year, treasure every moment you have because it'll be Jun, and before you know it, you'll be saying goodbye to high school.

Dear diary

I'm sitting here in my dorm room. The weather was gorgeous this morning: sun shining, blue skies...It was just one of those feel-good days. Now, I look out and the weather's turned dull, chilly, windy, and rather dreary. I guess I should be used to it because Vancouver weather's always like that. Vancouver weather parallels the unpredictability of life. Sometimes, I feel like the days and weeks of my life are playing right before my eyes, yet I feel like I'm only an observer, an audience member as the rolls of film play on, unceasingly.
I'm still constantly learning about myself. A wise friend recently asked me: "Tiffany. What do you want? First, you have to figure that out." That's a really good question, and it's also hard to answer. Right now, I just want to live my life. I know that's really vague, but in my head and deep down, I know what that means.
What else have I learnt about myself?
I learnt that, more than ever, I really treasure the little things. I realized that the memories I can always go back to and smile about it after the fact may not appear significant. It's the side glances, inside jokes, words unsaid, foolish mistakes, hugs, and sincere smiles. These are the things I will always remember and that I hold closest to my heart. It's the encouragements, the how-are-you-feeling texts, the hallway hangouts, room talks, etc. I love that we can just talk about our futures, our far-fetched dreams and things we want to do before we die. This is what keeps us young, because we CAN dream big, we can choose, and we can live it out.
Yesterday, I sat in Bread garden with my Earl Grey tea and breakfast wrap. At that moment, I just felt really content. I think it's a blessing to be able to feel content and be content. There are always going to be things we want, but at times, we really do have to count our blessings and enjoy life one step at a time.
Thank you to everyone who loves me despite my imperfections. Thanks for looking out for me, reminding me, thinking about me and loving me. I'm sorry I have you guys worried sometimes. But whatever, I know you love my wild side ;)
To my old friends: I love you and miss you guys more than you know.
To my new friends: You have made the past weeks of my life amazing. I can't believe friendships can grow so fast. I love you guys and am already dreading the moment we'll have to say goodbye.

once upon a time...

Sometimes, ignorance is bliss. Naivety can be a blessing. Remember when we used to believe in fairytales and watch Disney movies like these stories were everyday occurrences? Ya, I miss that.

take note

Slow down, tiff. Someone remind me it's only a been a month into uni.

go with the flow

I wish I knew what I wanted. That would make life so much easier. But no, life just has to be one confusing ride.

the sun is always shining over here

I wake up and feel so lucky. I'm so lucky to be living here, to have genuine, amazing friends that I can be myself with. Friendship is timeless. I just feel like I've known these people for a long time, even to the extent that I've known them my whole life. Thank you, God, for continually blessing me with amazing people. It makes life so exciting.

on my own

It's been quite a while since I last blogged. It's been an amazing couple months of moving on, looking forward, packing up and saying goodbye to best friends. I guess it's true that there is a time and season for everything. The concept of time is intriguing in that no one can hold it back or stop it. It's unceasing, without a care for people's desires to slow down moments or fast forward through the painful ones. There's only one thing I know. I know time doesn't wait for anyone. Once the moment's gone, you're never going to get it back. I know to treasure the precious moments because they may not last forever.
In psyc, we learned that our memories are reconstructive. When we think back, we try to reconstruct and piece together the past. Sometimes, our minds can play tricks on us and we believe something different of reality. At times, I don't even know what's real anymore. Some things just seem to be too good to be true.

someday we'll know

I know we'll get through this. When I said I'd always be here for you, I meant it. I just want you to know that I'm still here and that I haven't changed. I'm not going to pretend that I understand because I really don't. I just know that I trust in everything we had. Besides, it doesn't hurt to have a little faith, right?

summer blogging

What an amazing summer. It seems like these past months of my life have flown by. New experiences, new opportunities, new people. The snapshots of summer flip through my mind like a photographic film. The laughs, exchange of glances, high fives... I'd like to think I remember them in their entirety. I live for these little moments. I realized that when you're with people you love, you don't even have to be doing anything spectacular. Although I must say, I'm pretty blessed to have some pretty spectacular people in my life, not gonna lie.
I still have a month of summer left. I'm going to have the time of my life. Trust me. I will.

I can't help but think that there's something wrong with me.

let's have some fun this beat is sick

You're gambling up this relationship and I don't have time to play with you. So have fun. You're on your own. Newsflash: I have some bigger dreams to chase

change

Some things have changed, it's true. But no one can take away our memories and what we had. Those were genuine moments we have to treasure. I know that no matter how you change, or how much I do, we can always look back on those "gts" and be grateful about them.
You were right. I guess our paths do diverge significantly from here. I'm slowly beginning to realize it. I'm no longer afraid of change.

hello

You know when you haven't seen someone in the longest time, and then you randomly bump into them on the street or something? And their eyes, smile just bring you back to that year. It's like how listening to a particular song will bring you back to that moment and you'll always know how you felt at the time. I guess a person can do that to you.

symphony-marie digby

Here I go again in my dreamy eyes
I should be content but something's just not satisfied, oh
It's nothing that you did, I'm still on your side
I can't love you if I'm not sure who I am inside

'Cause there are some questions that need some answers
What is it I'm really after?
The clock's ticking so I can't wait around

This is my now, this is my today
No more sitting on the side waiting for my chance to play
Time to step out, so much to say
But I'll never get the chance if I don't break away
And write my own symphony, write my own symphony
I gotta write my own symphony, write my own symphony
Just let me write my own symphony

I've always got my head way up in the clouds
Something in me wants to fly away and leave the ground, oh
If you could hear my thoughts when no one's around
Then you'd understand my fear of being held down

'Cause I wanna explore the world around me
Dance under the stars above me
And be free to make my own mistakes

This is my now, this is my today
No more sitting on the side waiting for my chance to play
Time to step out, so much to say
But I'll never get the chance if I don't break away
And write my own symphony, write my own symphony
I gotta write my own symphony, write my own symphony
Just let me write my own symphony

'Cause every minute you're here with me
(You're here with me)
It gets harder to turn and walk away, oh
But I gotta chase my destiny

(My destiny)
No matter how hard or long it takes

This is my now, this is my today
No more sitting on the side waiting for my chance to play
Time to step out, so much to say
But I'll never get the chance if I don't break away
And write my own symphony, gotta write my own symphony
Write my own symphony, but I can't if you're here with me
I gotta write my own symphony, let me go and write my own symphony
Write my own symphony, need to go where you can't follow me
Just let me write my own symphony

A Digby Summer

I can't believe how relatable Marie Digby's Breathing Underwater series is. Some things "shoulda been simple," but just aren't.

I am in love with all of her songs, especially Shoulda Been Simple and Daybreak

Shoulda Been Simple

Had every word prepared
Wasn't even scared
Rehearsed the scene a million times and still felt no where
You were just down the hall
Not knowing at all
What was about to happen when I laid it on the line

'Cause it's written on my face
Though you see it in my eyes
How do you tell someone you love
What's gonna hurt
Don't wanna hurt

So when I'm too long
And telling you what's wrong
I tried and couldn't bring myself
(It shoulda been simple)
So many times I've tried
The time was never right
It was so complicated
(It shoulda been simple)

Oh-oh oh-oh
(It shoulda been simple)
Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh
(It shoulda been simple)
X2

There's no time for fear
visions kinda happen
No matter how this ends today, I wanna leave here as friends
It's not that I don't love you (Don't love you)
Don't think that I don't care (Don't care)
We were trying to fly a plane, the wings were just not there

And it's written on my face
Though you see it in my eyes
How do you tell someone you love
What's gonna hurt
What's gonna hurt

So when I'm too long
And telling you, "Be strong."
I tryed and couldn't bring myself
(It shoulda been simple)
So many times I've tried
The time was never right
It was so complicated
(It shoulda been simple)

Oh-oh oh-oh
(It shoulda been simple)
Oh-oh oh-oh-oh-oh
(It shoulda been simple)
X2

Remember the day that we said that we wouldn't change
We changed
'Cause nothing's the same anymore since that day
That day


Daybreak

If these walls could talk
They'd whisper, Just hold on
Dont this sunshine in this place
If we lose the night, it might not same
Not the same, oh

You look in my eyes and tell me things wont change
Then I feel safe letting you go

I don't wanna move
Don't let go of this moment
I don't wanna close my eyes
Don't wanna miss a thing
I don't wanna know if this is tonight
Only stop time, stop daylight
Cause when day breaks
it might all be over

When day, when day, when day breaks
It might all be over
When day, when day, when day breaks

Trace my skin
Hold out your hands
And let me in
The truth is coming through this blinds
I'm afraid the truth might be unkind
So unkind, oh

imagine

I don't get why some people are so obsessed with looking like anime characters. They buy the wigs and outfits and go the whole nine yards. The truth is, you can never BE those characters, nor look like them. People are generally fascinated with these anime because it's something rather mystical. I'm not an expert at anime, but I guess from my point of view, what is attractive about anime is its unrealistic quality. Like reading a novel, perhaps it is the novelties of these invented lands and fantasy characters that capture the hearts of so many people. When you try to make these fantasies become reality, in a sense, you adulterate it. These characters were never meant to be real in the first place. If you were looking for something real, you'd watch a reality show, not invest your time in anime. The closest I've been to anime is probably Sailor Moon. I remember when I was young, I was actually pretty obsessed with that show. In that 30 minutes of one episode, I knew that some bad villain would disrupt the peaceful town, the sailor scouts would come to the rescue and defeat him, and the episode would end with a happy ending. I liked watching Sailor Moon whip out her tiara and defeat those villains with the sailor scouts. Even though it happened every episode, I never got sick of it. And then there was Tuxedo Mask. I remember when all the girls wanted someone like him. Looking back, I can't say I would disagree. We probably spend half our lives invested into these fantasies. Movies, books, etc. Sometimes when I'm watching a movie, someone will make a comment like: "How can that even happen? It doesn't even make sense!" And to be honest, a lot of the times, it doesn't make sense. I respond with:"It's a movie. It's not real." I guess that's why we watch movies. We watch them because the good guy single handedly beats up the bad guys. We watch because the protagonist and antagonist always fall in love. Because the whole forbidden love thing appeals to us. Because in movies, jumping from roof to roof is clearly acceptable. We watch because these things rarely happen in real life. We watch because we are always searching for something novel to believe in when real life isn't as exciting as 007's.
When a book is made into a movie, a lot of the times you'll hear that the book was better. The amazing ability of reading is that you can interpret it however you want. The ambiguity of words and the various interpreted meanings that trail behind the seemingly innocent writing is what makes reading magical. When a book is suddenly made into a movie, the freedom of imagination is restricted. Although this is the case, I do admit that movies gives us an opportunity to enjoy the story without doing so much thinking of our own. And sometimes, we do think a little too much.

I wait for you, but I know I shouldn't.
Take a step back.

i miss u

I like that you keep me accountable. I like that we can talk about controversial issues, about God, about everything. I love singing to the same song over and over again in your car. I love laughing crazily about nothing. I love that we're opposites but somehow, the same kinda crazy. I love that God gave me a chance to try it again.

there's a time and season for everything

I think it's time to bring in the new. I think this new alacrity I have for change is good, although I am, at times, ambivalent about it. Two weeks ago, I would have told you I didn't want to graduate. I didn't want grad to be over because I was scared of losing my friends. But more than that, I was scared of losing that familiarity. The PA halls, seeing the same people year after year. I didn't have to make an effort to fit in a certain group because I had already found mine a long time ago.
But right now, I think I need a new beginning. It's funny how you can know someone for the longest time and not realize that maybe, you weren't meant for them. It's an abstruse concept to comprehend. In these two weeks, I've stepped back a little from all the high school drama and really thought about it. Some questions that have come up are: "Who do I want to be?" and "Who are my real friends?"
There's a time for people to come and pass in life. People that have made a mark on your life and people you just have to pass up. I love you, yet I know that it's time to move forward with my life. My optometrist explained to me that my eye sight will worsen if I read or look at things at a close distance. It'd make my muscles in my eye strain to focus and would thus, worsen my vision. I needed to read from a distance. That's what I feel like I need to do right now. I fear that if we get too close, one day we might fall apart. That's why I'm going to step back a little. Give me some time.

because

I need a getaway...because I need to refocus my life.

I need a new beginning...because I don't want to linger in the past.

I need to look forward...because I can't look back.

Because I've abnegated too much. Because this idea of normality is only an abstract one. because I used to think I had the acumen to think rationally, to CHOOSE rationally and not allow my heart to lead me astray. Because I have let this perennial problem lead to incorrigible resolutions. And then you allow yourself to think that things can be the same, though everything has changed, and nothing isn't an aberration of what it was. You try to hide it, to abate the frustration that has come out of this seemingly insurmountable situation, but in the end, your adroit plans reverse its power on you, and the joke is on you.

somewhere only we know

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing where have you gone
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go
Somewhere only we know?

one week

A week to go, and it's hitting me. It's hitting me that the people that I've gotten to know and have taken granted of these past years are leaving this place for good. I might never see them again in my whole life. It's hard to believe that you can go to class with someone every day and not realize how much you'll miss them until they have to leave. It's not fair. At the same time, I'm so excited for the adventures that await all of us after high school. Graduating is only a milestone to help us cross into the next stage of life. I can't wait to hear stories from everyone's post-grad experiences. I know things will be different. I used to think that everything would change after high school, but it doesn't have to. I realized that if you're good friends with someone, you don't have to see each other all the time, but when you do, everything just seems to fall back in place as if no time has passed. I know without my friends and family, I would never be here. It's amazing to know that there are so many factors in helping shape and make someone become a successful person. I know that each encouragement note, each smile, hug or acknowledgment has been no less important in building me up. It's with those little encouragements that I have built a foundation upon to face a larger world. I cannot begin to explain how truly blessed I am. God, you always provide. It's unbelievable how good You are to me.

don't judge a book by its cover

It's so ironic. The people that I didn't like before have become some of my closest friends. Thank you God for always surprising me and proving me wrong. I'm sorry that I can be judgmental. Thank you for continually proving me wrong and putting such great people in my life.

nothing has changed

I'm looking at old pictures of us. We were such good friends then. We were so young. I smile because nothing has changed. Over the years, our friendship has grown stronger and on a deeper level. You still tease me like you used to. We still argue just like we used to, or perhaps even more now. Although words are sometimes inadequate to express exactly how much you mean to me, I just want you to know I wish you the very best. I'm going to miss this.

already gone

i love you enough to let you go

& after all...

When you truly care about someone, you'd be happy for them.
I'm really happy for you. I just want you to know that.

sands of time are slipping through my fingers

23 days till grad?!? Impossible, yet true.
I wasn't really looking forward to the grad rafting trip this weekend. Tired and jetlagged from vacation, I wasn't extremely excited about setting up camp in the wilderness. But I didn't realize that this trip would make me miss high school that much more. This trip is probably going to be the last one where we're all going to be together. I'm going to miss all this. Sitting on the raft, despite the intimidating waves, I realized how much I'm going to miss everyone, and how much I'm going to miss these moments.
These are the people I grew up with. The friends that I can truly depend on. I love them. Lying on the picnic tables under the starry sky, it all became clear to me how close we are to the end. I don't want to graduate just yet. Please, let these moments stay a while longer. Please. I play the memories in my head again and again. I think about them as I fall asleep at night. They comfort me.
I never thought I'd miss high school this much. I thought I was stronger than that. I guess I'm not. I was so excited to move on to the next chapter, but as time is closing in on me, I can't deny how much I'm going to miss pa and my friends.
I'm not good with goodbyes.

Soo..it's 7:30 am and I'm sitting in my hotel room. It's a rather gloomy day in Japan today. It still feels really surreal that summer has started, and IB has ended. I was really excited to hear the beeper sound to end the last exam. I guess it does feel a little weird to be done. I have to admit that it being a part of my life for 2 years, it suddenly feels very abnormal to be without it. I think a lot of it has to do with the many, many memories that have found their way into my life these past 2 years. At first, IB seemed like a risk, but looking back, it was a chance. It was a chance for me to figure out what I really wanted in academics, that let me almost lose sight of God and find Him again. But actually, He was always there. I got a lot closer to some people as we strived towards common goals. I learned so much the world, but most importantly, I learned so much about myself. Everyone improved from where they were at the beginning. And that's what it's about, going a little farther because you can. Sometimes I do get frustrated when it's hard. I had to learn how to handle that too. I know I wasn't the best person to be around in April. I'm sorry for being grumpy. I wasn't mad, it was just the stress. Thanks for putting up with me. You knew I'd come around, right?
I know that everyone makes their own decisions and not everyone has to be hardcore in academics. I'm not saying that everyone should be that way, but sometimes when I see you slacking off, I just get frustrated. I know that you're smart and you can do it. I can see it, so why can't you? I'm frustrated because I care.
This year has gone by so fast. I just can't believe it. I can't believe that in less than 3 months, our lives will be pretty different from now. I'm excited for all of us. It's hard to imagine we were once those clueless kids that just wanted to play tag. It's hard to imagine that we've talked about graduating together for so long, and we're finally going to.
There's so much I want to say to every one of you. I want to tell you guys how much you mean to me. And I will. I'm not one to have regrets.

these are the days

these are the days that I'm going to remember
these are the pictures I'm going to look back on
this is the place where we all met
these are the days that will be missed

crazy dinner

Today, at dinner, I laughed so hard I almost cried. I finally realized why I can be quiet and good, but then be crazy and wild. It's genetic. My parents were telling me what they were like as kids, and they were total opposites of each other. My mom was that good little girl that never talked back and followed all the rules. My dad...on the other hand, was the kind of boy that drilled holes in desks so he could drink pop without being noticed in class. Oh right, he also got "sick" a lot during exams and was a major soccer fanatic.
Haha what a contrast, eh?
My parents are complete opposites, but I like it that way.

Wow, another year already?!

I'm turning 18 in like...12 days. Wow, I know I've said this way too many times, and it's getting somewhat redundant, but time really does fly. One year ago, at this time, I was getting ready to go on outreach. One year ago, I wasn't really thinking about graduating or university. A year ago, a lot of things were different. Summer changed a couple of things for me. Thank you, to those that have been here for me. I know I'm opinionated and sometimes, unfortunately judgmental, but thank you for sticking around. As I am almost ready to close this chapter of my life, I'm also so excited about new beginnings, although life never stops and it's merely a continuation, this change is going to be good. I can't imagine what next year is going to look like, but I imagine it to be just as amazing all these other years.
I think one of the most important things I learned these past two years is to keep going. I don't take failures so seriously anymore, because these little failures don't define me, and I certainly shouldn't let them dictate my life. I learned that life is truly bigger than that. When life is smooth, it's great and I love it, but when it's not, I know that I'm not alone. God, thank you for never leaving me and teaching me that there is more to life than what the world has to offer me. Sometimes, I do complain about school, but I know when I look back on it, man am I going to miss it. I will never forget the memories and friendships that have been blessed to me.
PC, open your heart to God. I know that you're so busy with skating and all these exciting things that your future holds, but He is the only thing that won't change. Going to be continually praying because I know that He can work in miraculous ways, and I believe that He will work wonders in your life if you let Him.
I thought it was so cool that at church, they got us to write "what God has done in our lives" and "what we want Him to do" on a piece of paper and literally, laying it at the cross. I guess that's what it is, coming to the foot of the cross. I know there's so much I have to work on, but I'm glad I have my eyes on the right goal. There really is more to life than this:)



I guess I should get back to work.

perfect-hedley

Making every kind of silence takes a lot to realize
It is worse to finish then to start all over and never let it lie
And as long as I can feel you holding on
I won’t fall even if you said I was wrong

I’m not perfect but I keep trying
‘Cause that’s what I said I would do from the start
I am not alive if I’m lonely
So please don’t leave
Was it something I said or was it just my personality

so if you had one chance

"we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you
what would you wish you would've done."

I know what I "want" to do.
So what's holding me back?
I'm just so scared I'll lose what's left of you.

No words

I guess I'll so do some normal blogging while keeping up my "letters to PC."
So everything seems to be going fine. Well, almost everything is fine, except for this one issue. I can't just leave it because I don't want history to repeat itself, and besides, I don't want to go there again. If I could only find the words...
So I hope it somehow fixes itself up soon.
wow ambiguous much? Ya.. that's how I want it to be.

I love The Script
The Hardest Thing

"I know that it seems
Like it's easy for me
I wish you could feel
What's going on inside of me"

May 14th

Dear PC,

I can't believe you're coming back to Vancouver so soon. May 14th. I remember I just checked yesterday, and you weren't on the Stars on Ice list of skaters. I hope I can go to it, despite it's still during my IB exam week! Good thing I only have Paper 1, 2, and 3 for Bio and then I'm done. I can't wait to see you, Tessa and Scott, Joannie, and the rest of the skaters. It's gonna be so amazing.
Thinking about May makes me nervous. It's only 2 months away, and I know how fast time flies. All I've done in these 2 years amounts to just a couple hours of exams. I guess that's what it's like for an Olympian too. You guys train so hard for maybe just 4 minutes on the ice or for other athletes, maybe just that split second will put you own that podium. or not. I can't wait till exams are over. I can't wait to graduate, to move on, to start university and to begin another chapter of my life. It's all coming so fast, yet I look forward to it every day. Sometimes, I think about where I'll be 10 years from now. I wonder about what my life will look like and what amazing people I'll meet. I know that there will be more hardships, but right now, let's just take life step by step.
Sometimes I have arguments with friends and it seems like a couple hours can distance people. And you have no idea how to make things right. I mean, can all those years of friendship really be separated by only a few hours? I really hope not.
Anyway, PC, appreciate your friends and the family you love. Don't let someone go so easily. Live whole-heartedly and with no regrets. No matter how people critisize you, I know that you have something special going for you. Don't let people tear you down. Believe in yourself.

encouragement note

You know that feeling when you feel like you're just really tired and you can't do it? And then there are people that tell you the same? I don't think I'd be where I am right now if I gave up, if I listened to them instead of following my heart. I think we need people in our lives that tell us the honest truth, that can tell us not to listen to what other people say. We need people that believe in us, so we can have the confidence to believe in ourselves.
I remember the poem that was on the cover of my old diary:

Don't quit when the tide is lowest,
For it's just about to turn;
Don't quit over doubts and questions
For there's something you may learn

Don't quit when the night is darkest,
For it's just a while 'til dawn;
Don't quit when you've run the farthest,
For the race is almost won.

Don't quit when the hill is steepest,
For your goal is almost night;
Don't quit for you're not a failure
Until you fail to try.

-Jill Wolf

I thought it was kind of silly that we had encouragement week at school. Everybody commented on how "middle-school" that was. In the end, everyone got into it, writing encouragement notes to each other, building each other up. We need to do that. So here's my little encouragement note to you. Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, don't give up.

Sometimes...

Sometimes you have have to fall to learn
Sometimes you get hurt, but it makes you a better person
Sometimes you build a wall, just to have it broken
Sometimes you have to notice everyday miracles
Sometimes saying sorry is all it takes
Sometimes you just have to tell them you love them
Sometimes it's okay to let your true colours show

I was having a conversation with a friend, and he said, "it's not like you see miracles every day." But I do. I mean, maybe not MIRACLES exactly, but extraodinary things happen every day, we just have to look. I mean, people always talk about what they "don't have," and sometimes I do that too, but the truth is, we have so much to be thankful for. There's always something better, it's hard to be content sometimes. Instead of complaining about what you don't have, make the most of what you DO have.
Today is a gorgeous day, despite the weather forecasts of rain for the next two weeks. What a nice surprise:)

Hey Patrick, sometimes I wonder if what you're doing right at this moment. If you're having fun, if you're sad, etc. Some people might just think I'm being obsessive, but I'm not. I know what obsession is and sure, I've been through that, but this isn't it. Yes, sometimes I do go over-the-top cheering for you, but it's only out of support. I think I used to want to meet you, and would probably go to the ends of the earth to do it, but thankfully I've grown up a little. Of course, it'd be so great to meet you because you're such a great role model to young people, but most importantly, I hope you're happy. I hope you find what you're looking for in life. I hope you meet the most amazing people that you can build life-long relationships with. I hope you enjoy the everyday miracles and all that life has to offer you. You're 19, prime time of your life, pretty much. I love being young because I feel like right now, I can steer the wheel into any direction I want. Of course, God always has His hands on my wheel, helping me make those turns and avoiding the roadblocks. It's true, I don't know you, but I pray for you every day.
Anyway, have a great day PC.

Love,
Tiffany

photo recap anyone?

okay well, the whole indoctrination of coca cola's "open happiness" has gotten to me. that and the rest of the olympic hype. now i can't sleep. Soo photo recap?

eclectic memoriess

Hey Patrick,

Soooo recap of my day of being a tourist in my own city. AGAIN. So, we went to olympic village, but unfortunately, we were only able to observe from a distant. The police looked kinda intimidating...ya and.. don't really wanna be going to jail anytime soon! I told my friends we needed binoculars, but they just stared at me in shock. Haha but I get that a lot.
Oh and then I went to Livecity Yaletown again. Watched the hockey game.. WOO GO CANADAAA. one step closer to gold babyy. The other day, I was on the skytrain with my friend and I saw your picture on the other skytrain, and I told my friend, "LOOK PATRICK IS ON THAT TRAIN!" My friend just stared at me in shock, and then I had to correct myself: "OH no I meant his PICTURE is on that train.." Then she was like.. "No wonder you're still sitting here."
Another awkward moment: I saw this athlete wearing a Belarus jacket, and my nerd instincts kicked in and I unconsciously yelled Minsk (the capital) out loud and the guy stared at me weirdly.. haha oops:S
Anyway, I hope you're still enjoying Vancouver!

Love,
Tiffany

but it's not just a dream

Dear pc,

I keep hearing people tell me where they've seen you downtown and everything!Somehow, I'm not that worried because I'm sure I'll get to meet you one day, whether it's 5 yrs down the road, or mb 10. Lately, I feel like I'm not very motivated to do work. I mean, I can write in my blog just fine, but somehow, I can't write a single word on my history paper. For a second, that kinda scared me because I'd hate to know that I'm starting to get lazy. These last 2 months are the most crucial ones, and I really need to stick it out.
I watched tessa and scott skate yesterday. They are absolutely breathtaking, perfect. The way they skate and look at each other is so genuine and special. It's amazing to know that they began skating together sinc 7 and 9, growing up together, becoming Olympians together. And I remember that Olympics commercial that you were in, where you said that it was your dream to go to the Olympics, promptly adding, "but that's just a dream." Look at you now, you lived that dream, and you should be so proud of the person you have become. From Alex Bilodeau to tessa and scott, to you patrick, you all show passion and respect for your sport and most of all, you show respect to others. In my opinion, that's what makes true Olympians. The moments where two countries can be competitive, but still congratulate each other in the end, that's what true sportsmanship is. It makes me really proud to be Canadian because our athletes are so gracious.
Women's singles is today! Joannie: you know that all of Canada is behind you. I hope you find that inner strength.
Although the weather today isn't as great as yesterday, I hope you still enjoy the day.

Love,
Tiffany

Another beautiful day

Dear Patrick,

Good morning, err.. afternoon. Another beautiful day today. I'm sure you are enjoying Vancouver right now. This week has been great, well.. except for yesterday when Canada lost to US in hockey! a;sdlfkajsdflkajs;. Silly Americans, hockey is Canada's game. It's ok though, I believe in Canada. We're going to make a perfect comeback and it's going to be epic. Up until this past week, I always wanted to win in arguments and to prove my point, but I realized that it doesn't even matter what other people think. I know where I stand and what I believe, and that's enough for me. So, where have you been so far? I absolutely love Vancouver. I guess you could say that I'm biased because I live here, but it really is a great place to live. I've done a bit of travelling myself, but Vancouver is always home to me. Don't just visit the touristy places. That's what everyone sees, but Vancouver is so much greater than that. Rent a bike and ride along the seawall at Stanley park. Watch the sunset at English Bay. Take walks in parks. Let yourself absorb everything that this city has to offer. If you don't already, you'll learn to love it, trust me.
I think you're an only child. Well, I am anyway. I really enjoy it actually. I never really get bored because I enjoy alone time. It's nice to take a jog outside when the weather's nice, sit at Starbucks and have a coffee, listening to your fav music on your ipod and just tuning everything else out. Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with my friends, but there's just something really nice about setting time aside for yourself.
Patrick, enjoy your days here. Here's a song I have recently come to love.

The Script Live Like We're Dying

Sometimes we fall down and can't get back up
we're hiding behind skin that's too tough
how come we don't say I love you enough
till it's to late, it's not too late

Our hearts are hungry for a food that won't come
we could make a feast from these crumbs
and we're all staring down the barrel of a gun
so if your life flashed before you
what would you wish you would've done

Yeah... gotta start
lookin at the hand of the time we've been given here
this is all we got and we gotta start livin it
every second counts on a clock that's tickin'
gotta live like we're dying

Yeah we got
86 400 seconds in a day to
turn it all around or throw it all away
we gotta tell 'em that we love 'em
while we got the chance to say
gotta live like we're dying