afternoonrun

Beautiful, beautiful Spanish Banks.
It was just so calming to sit there and listen to the waves crashing into the shore. Breakers. It's hard to believe that something so beautiful can, at the same time, be so destructive. It just makes me think of how there are two sides to every story. Maybe the line between good and evil isn't so clear either. Who are we to judge, right?
I had the best talk with two of my friends. We just let it all out: everything we felt, the good, the bad, the unknown. Everything.

Best line today:

"Where are they? There are none...maybe we should just get a dog."
"Guys, this conversation is depressing."

Sometimes, I just get so fed up with people that just take advantage of others. I know the whole "mob mentality" thing and group polarization, but really, that's no justification for people to abuse their freedom while infringing on other people's rights. There is nothing glorifying about taking what is not yours and just running away. It's cowardly.
And what's more, apparently police can't even do anything because they're minors? What kind of message do you think it gives kids? Hmm, it probably gives them the message that: hey kids, you can do whatever you want as long as you're still a minor. No one is going to hold you responsible to your actions. That's not fair. And yes, sometimes kids don't really have the capacity to make the right decisions, but do you think letting them off the hook that easily is beneficial to them? To me, the system is basically saying, okay, you can screw up your life and others' lives while you're still young. What kind of twisted, corrupted world do we live in?
I know you're okay, but why you? I know that's just a really dumb question to ask, but I'm nevertheless asking it.

Plaid shirts
shorts
t-shirt dresses
jean jackets

.summer

I love it when the weather forecast is wrong, especially when a rainy day turns into a gorgeous, sunny one! You know what that means? Time for a Spanish Banks runnn.

nightmyloves

Plug in some earphones. Turn up the bass if you have that function, and listen to Felix Cartal's "Berlin" or his volcano remix. Insane.

How do I go from writing my paper, to having a conversation about marriage with someone I don't even know that well, to listening to Felix Cartal? Baffles me.

Too often, we seek conformity. But it's much cooler being the exception.

lifechanges

Wow, does time fly or what?

Some people in my high school are already getting engaged or are already married. A girl I met 2 years ago in Cuba is married and is going to be a mother in 1 month! Such exciting news. It's amazing how one person, one moment, can change everything. Do you really believe that it's chance? Or do you believe in destiny? I think everything happens for a reason. Sometimes, we don't understand, and that's when we wonder what God is up to. But if God could be so easily understood, He wouldn't be God.

Before the Morning-Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you
If there's a God who loves you where is He now

Maybe there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending

Someday somehow you'll see you'll see

Would you dare would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming
So hold on you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It's just the dark before the morning

My friend you know how this all ends
You know where you're going
You just don't know how you'll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on cause there's good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time but you'll see the bigger picture

snailmail

Na-na-na-na-na-na I got a postcard today! Somebody loves me :)

don't you wanna stay here a little while

And now it's almost over. I'm ready for it to be over. Let's put a period on this school year. It's been fun and I've learnt a lot, both academically and not, but I'm ready to move on. That's just me though. I'm always anticipating the next chapter, the next adventure, the next open door. I can't wait to fill my albums with unforgettable memories.
I used to think that, in life, we move in units. By this, I mean I used to think that I'd have the same friends forever, that I'd only add to those numbers, but now I've come to realize that as much as I miss some people in my life, I know we had our time. I realized that in that moment, that year, we needed each other, but not everyone is meant to stay forever. And that's okay.
I'm grateful for all the people that have been in my life, however short amount of time.
I know you. You don't say what you mean because you're scared. Well, don't be. It's okay. It really is. I know what you mean.
One day, whether we're all "successful" or not, we'll look back on these days and wonder why we ever took things so seriously.

So, here's to the unspoken words, the comfortable silences, and the inside jokes. My friends, I promise you, we'll make it.

"Don't you wanna stay here a little while. Don't you wanna hold each other tight, don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight. Don't you wanna stay here a little while. We can make forever feel this way. Don't you wanna stay?"

tuesmorning

I love my black coffee, but some things I don't like about it are:

it makes me want to jump up and down.
I can't stop smiling, which would be okay if I weren't in lecture.
Talking to my friend on skype while caffeinated makes it worse because I'm noticeably smiling now, in class, and to hide this, I drink more coffee, which only makes it worse.
And thus, the cycle continues.

Actions speak louder than words. Always.

thisorthat

I used to not like fudgesicles and the oreo part of dq ice cream cakes. Now, I'm in love with both.
Rollercoasters used to give me an irreplaceable thrill.
I used to like cheesecake. a lot. That's changed a bit.

Some things just fluctuate like that.
But what we have?
Ya, that's a forever kinda thing.

just what I needed on a monday morning.

bdaycards

I was going through my keepsake box where I keep all the special cards/notes. Some direct quotes from the cards:


17th bday:

"Be a good girl"
"Don't think of PC too much. Stay out of trouble."
"Don't let your dreams run away from you"

18th bday:

"Redbull gives you wings"
"at least you got to meet one of your loves-just one left!" Don't really remember who this is referring to.. but ok hahah.
"One more year, and you can buy alcohol illegally! Yeah! Until then, don't do drugs or smoke or steal and stuff, because that's bad for you. Remember to always be yourself 'cuz you're awesome."
"Don't be bad. Don't find bad bfs. Eat less cheesecake after 1 or 12." LOL thanks?
"even though we're in a love-hate relationship, you're my BFF...make sure when you're getting married i'm at your wedding and I hope I can be your bridesmaid"
"...and we're gonna have to move out of Riverview soon. fun times playing in the secret gardens..."

19th:

"don't know what I would do if we never met."
"you're legal now! but don't party too much...still need to go on our dates ;)"
"i love how it doesn't matter how long it's been since we've seen each other, our friendship doesn't fade."

my keepsake box is now overflowing thanks to years full of memories and good times :)
love all y'all <3

HAHAH so excited. This is gonna be epic ;)

You know what's ironic?

The fact that we forget about the ones we love,
try to impress the ones that don't matter
do stupid things just to prove a point

you always want what you can't have
and never see the things that you do.

But at one point in your life, you come to realize...

the ones that left were never supposed to stay
the ones that matter never let you miss them for long
and being right isn't so important

but it's not too late to make things right.

beatles

And when the night is cloudy, there is still a light, that shines on me,
shine until tomorrow, let it be.

it's all coming back to me now...

This summer, I'm going to take a picture a day, pick a quote a day, and stick it in a journal. At the end, I'll look back and know that I learnt something new each day.

i love being home. I love my blankets and bed, and the fact that there's always food at my house. And also knowing some of my best friends are only 5 mins away. I love that.

summer is this

My perfect summer would be:

hiking up mountains and having a picnic at the top
sitting in big oak trees and telling stories
basking under the sun
being beach bums with my friends
biking along the sea wall
shopping outdoors at small, unique boutiques
road trippp
bonfires

I can't tell you what summer means to me. You have to feel it. Feel the summer breeze, the wind in your hair, the sand under your toes and entangled in your braids. It's bed-head messy, coral lipstick, bronzy palettes, melting ice cream cones, midnight runs, bikini tan lines, cutoffs, effortless off-the-shoulder crop tops.
Summer is salt-water scents and finding sand in your jean pockets half a year later. It's oversized tees, fedoras and flower garlands. It's doing everything and sometimes, doing nothing at all. Loosen those winter buns and reveal your natural curls.
It's letting loose those inhibitions, being with the people you love, and loving yourself.
<3

who thought spending fridays in the library would be so much fun? hahah

call me crazy

let's get outta here

x&o's

what a perfect day :)

sometimes we have to live a little
sometimes breaking the rules just makes us realize why they're there
sometimes being scared makes us realize what we have to lose

I cannot be held accountable for the things that are going to happen. Stay tunnneed my dears.

backtothosesummernights

i promise we'll find a roof this summer. I don't care where it is. We're gonna get on that roof and star gaze. Promise.

It is a beautiful day out. And I"m making the most of it.

“Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up.”

We grew up, and apart, but I know that you'll come around.

“I've heard that it's possible to grow up - I've just never met anyone who's actually done it. Without parents to defy, we break the rules we make for ourselves. We throw tantrums when things don't go our way, we whisper secrets with our best friends in the dark, we look for comfort where we can find it, and we hope - against all logic, against all experience. Like children, we never give up hope...”

john 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

I guess I don't usually cry in movies because I know they're not real, but this is real. Fukushima 50 are real people. They are the epitome of true altruism. We know nothing about patriotism and love compared to them. The Japanese have shown strength and resilience amidst this tragedy. They are fighters.

It's 12:45 am. i'm sitting here, stressing about the essay, thinking about that night, and contentedly eating my pineapple.

Once we choose hope, everything is possible. ~Christopher Reeve

ohboy

Okay, just want you to know that even though i'm laughing, i feel realllyyy bad i got you into this. but it's still funny :P

You're so super sonic
wanna feel your powers, stumb me with your lasers

yesterday night was sickk and thanks for making sure i'd never forget it.
Unforgettable indeed.

recap.regroup

OK WOW. Last night was...incredible. Got some unexpected messages from unexpected people wishing me happy birthday. I don't know if you can have too much love in one day, but if it's possible, then yesterday came pretty darn close to that. The 12 am calls, morning texts and hugs were so sweet. I love you all so much.
We came back and kj and I just sat there in silence for a bit..then we both started smiling: "that was.. really fun." I don't remember the last time I had a sleepover. It felt like we were in middle school again: looking at pictures, chilling out and reminiscing about the night. We talked well over an hr, then the fatigue started hitting us. Now, I'm running on 5 hrs of sleep? That's actually not bad.
No one will really know what when down yesterday except for us. It'll be our little secret... or maybe not that secret haha. When i say secret, I really mean all of my best friends will know, but I'm not gonna publicize it to the whole world or anything. All I know is I owe kj big timeee. She really goes all out for me. She's the kind of person that's sweet, chill and sooo much fun. Dang, my friends do too much for me.

onething

you had 24 hrs and you couldn't even take 5 seconds for me. I thought we were more than that.

nosafetynofallback

I'm just going to blame it on the DJ ;)

Intense life is not complete without a touch of madness ~ Paulo Coelho

countingtheyears,thememories,andtheblessings

counting the years:
19

counting the memories:

club monaco incident with g ;)
shopping adventures with cuba4 (both pre-grad and post-grad)
outreach
Toronto YSP
grad rafting trip
grad kidnap
grad banquet + cruise
walks with my besties
nights on the beach
sneaking out
alll uni parties ;)

counting the blessings:

friends: My friends know me so well. They know everything about me, from my favourite clothing shops to my type of guys to my spiritual struggles. They make it easy for me. I completely trust and lean on them.

family: i love my family. I have the best parents in the world. They are understanding, supportive, non-pressuring, loving, fun. Needless to say, I love them.
And the rest of my family is also amazing. There's something special about families that nothing can ever compare to.

God has been good to me.

19on19

A lot of love later...

1) i'm happy
2) my room looks like it just exploded
3) i'm excited for tonight
4) i'm legal
5) i've come to the conclusion that life does not get any better

memorylane

Sometimes people grow up for the better.
She asked me about you.
I told her I didn't know anymore.
We'd plan our futures like we had a clue.
I don't want us to be the kind of friends that say please and thank you.
I don't need that.
I wish we weren't strangers.
I wish you'd still call me out on my mistakes.

send-off

As I watch you guys get all excited about outreach, I can't help but be excited with you. Outreach was definitely one of the best, most unforgettable experiences of my life. I know God put everyone on that team for a reason, and that experience brought me closer to some of my best friends today. I can't believe it's been 2 years already. Time flies. And I don't think anything can beat having a birthday on a katamaran in Cuba. I remember the send-off chapel. And the prayers. All the different flags of the countries we were going to surrounded the auditorium. Easily the best 2 weeks of my life.


Guys, be safe and have the most amazing time.

Ok. I'm a little scared now.
Please know I love you no matter what happens.

in a maroon 5 heavy, rhythmic bass mood.
Today's beverage: raspberry earl grey
what gets me through the day: friends and the sun.

wish

Pre-birthday celebration. I only had one candle to blow out today, but I didn't need to make a wish, because I'm already so so blessed. I really can't expect anything more. I wish I could give my wish to someone else that needs it because right now, I don't. When much is given to you, much is also expected of you. I don't know if I can live up to that expectation, but I'll try. Maybe much has been given to me so I can give even more. I know I don't deserve any of this, but God you are so good to me.

because

because sometimes we don't get second chances
because sometimes it is too late
because there too many debbie downers
and this life is too good to pass up

because life is more than surviving

and if you know anything about me, you'll know i'm someone that's pretty black and white.
if i love you, i'll make sure you know because you deserve to know

so love wisely
and excessively

PLL

hanna: "fool me once. shame on me. fool my best friend, you're dead frickin' meat."

i like that.

xoxo

I used to see you every day. Now, we live completely different lives. You said that last year's birthday card was probably going to be the last one you'd write to me, but I never believed it. There was never a day where you wouldn't insult me and I wouldn't argue back. I guess, at some point, we grow up. Sometimes, I just wish we could go back. Sometimes, I wonder if a little part of you still remembers me. You were the one I could call in frantic situations. You were always there for me. You're one of the few special people I love unconditionally. And you probably don't even know it.

learningtobreathe

Hello, good morning, how ya do?
What makes your rising sun so new?
I could use a fresh beginning too
All of my regrets are nothing new

stars

So loving Switchfoot right now.

I've been thinkin maybe I've been partly cloudy, maybe I'm the chance of rain
Maybe I'm overcast, and maybe all my luck's washed down the drain


I've been thinking 'bout everyone, everyone you look so lonely


But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars I see someone else

When I look at the stars,
the stars, I feel like myself