muSINGs

First time doing a request on the topic of-death

So my take on death? I'm actually way more scared of the pain I might have to endure before dying than actual death. I don't think I'm actually scared of dying because I know that I really will be in paradise with Jesus. If I really believe that, why should I be scared? Although if I was ever in a place where I was in critical condition and needed the willpower to live, I would have the will to live, because I'd want to live. I think I would stay strong and hold on, because I don't believe in giving up. I'm most worried about leaving people behind, my family, my friends. I honestly hope they won't miss me too much, because I'd hate to see them sad. My family especially, I know they love me too much, and for them, I'd hold on to that last breath of life.
I also want to do so much, and I feel like I have this whole life ahead of me, I think I'd miss the future even though I'd never have had it. I know things might not go the way I have planned in my mind, but especially now, I'm young and I want to go out in the world and experience new things, broaden my perspective of life, and learn. I know death isn't something I can control, and I don't think I'd want to control it. Not surprisingly, I'm too lazy to want to control everything in my life. I think I used to be like that. I wanted to be in control of everything, but one thing I learned is, it's so much easier just to rely on God, just to trust Him. He always has my best interest in mind, and that's one thing I can lean on and be sure of.
When people around me die, sure it's hard and I certainly don't understand it, but I will learn to accept it. It's life, it happens, and while I say this, I do still take it hard when someone close to me dies, and I still cry a lot over someone's death, but deep down, somewhere under all that emotion, I accept it.
So death? Maybe it's not so big after all. Maybe what I have to focus on right now is not to worry about tomorrow and to live today as is.

Tiffany